B Student

I got three B’s this quarter. Everyone says great job those are great grades, but I am disappointed in myself. I did a lot of foot dragging, turning things in late, and procrastinating. I could have gotten an A- at least in every class, I know I could. But I was intimidated by everything, and just terribly afraid of committing anything down… such as with both of my Art History papers that were late. i have an idea in my mind and I’m just afraid to go and put it down permanently, even though it can always be changed. Maybe no one really knows how much I doubted myself this quarter. I think all that doubt sabotaged me. Maybe next quarter I can have more faith in myself and will do better.

I want to do interior design, but I’m new to the field and it’s not where my confidence lies. I know I need to believe in myself if I want to succeed. I wish I could find someone who really believed in me, believed in my dreams and understood my insecurities without just brushing them off- who knew when and how badly I needed reassurance and how to give it. Someone to thank when I win some “designer of the year” award some day.

It’s not that my friends don’t support me, they just don’t quite understand what I’m going through and I am incapable of making them see. There words of encouragement are helpful at times, but I feel like I need something more. Not quite sure exactly what that might be. But I hope I can find it- either in someone else or within myself.